15 Sep Filling the confidence tank
We all have times when we lack confidence in ourselves for whatever reason.
Maybe we are learning something new and lack confidence in our knowledge.
Maybe we are meeting someone for the first time or starting a new job and want to make a good impression.
How do we get the confidence we need when the self-doubt button is being pressed?
Firstly we need to look at our focus.
I can almost guarantee that most people will be focussed on what they can’t do or what has gone wrong in the past.
The little voice in our heads that reminds us of what we are not good at or what we haven’t achieved, can have a very strong influence on how we feel and think about ourselves.
How do you silence a voice that has always reminded you of your negatives?
Decide to become consciously aware of the little voice and what it says.
Accept responsibility that the little voice is yours and you can control it.
Make a choice to stop criticising yourself and instead focus on your strengths, skills, and successes.
Catch that self-critic before as it starts, challenge it and reframe the thought into a positive one.
Making comparisons to others is another way we can create self-doubt and affect our confidence levels.
As soon as you compare yourself to someone else you are setting yourself up for failure.
Remember what you see in others is not always what it appears to be.
You are not them and you never will be. You are you and that’s ok.
If you want to see results, compare yourself to yourself. See how far you have come.
Acknowledge what you have done well and work on things that you feel you could improve on.
We all have room for improvement however, this does not mean that we are not good enough or have failed at life.
Some suggestions on ways you can build your confidence:-
- Get a journal that you can write in, to remind yourself of all your achievements, skills and strengths
- Start noting in the journal what you can and do achieve on a daily basis
- Write a list of your strengths (must be more than 10!)
- Write a list of your skills
- Write a list of your achievements and what you are proud of
- What are some things that you have learnt from past mistakes that will help you in the future?
- What are some things that you can do now that you couldn’t do 5 years ago?
- Keep practicing on challenging that self-critic and turn it into your best friend
- Visualise yourself succeeding – see yourself as you want to be and as you want the situation to be
- Fake it till you make it – pretend to be confident until it feels like you do!
Remember everyone has self-doubt at some stage and you are not alone.